Guilt and Shame

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. - John 8:36

We serve a merciful, forgiving God. Yet, there are times you may commit a wrongful act that leaves you struggling with guilt and shame. Please know that these feelings do not come from Him. You can be free. He wants you free.

Many people believe in repenting to God after sin. This is the proper response, but is it enough? Sometimes, our behavior is offensive and hurtful to others. The situation may call for accountability to the people who were affected. I have learned that a sincere apology is very liberating. For example, in a case of adultery, repent to God and apologize to your own spouse and the person with whom you were involved. If the other spouse and/or older children are aware, then they are owed an apology as well. I suggest speaking directly in person or on the phone. Avoid putting things in writing because you do not know who may see it. Yet, different circumstances can require different actions. Seek the wisdom of God.

Again, when repenting and apologizing, be honest and sincere. Do not try to justify and excuse yourself. Remember, the truth makes us free. (John 8:32) Sometimes, we remain in bondage because we try to defend our wrongdoing. We create and tell stories to justify ourselves. Just be honest and say, “I was wrong”.

Also, accept the fact that some acts do not “just happen”. Some behavior is allowed. Even after repenting and apologizing, continue to pray asking God to help you understand why. Your behavior may have been the symptom of a deeper problem. If you do not get to the root of it, it will show itself again in one form or another. Forgive yourself, uproot it, and be free.

No matter what you do, some people will never forgive. That is not your problem as long as you have sincerely repented and apologized. Leave that in God’s hands, and do not allow people to put a guilt-trip on you. (John 8:1-11 - This text focuses on a woman and there is a woman in the picture above. Please know that men are just as responsible. Refer to Deuteronomy 22:22.) To maintain your freedom, it may be necessary to stay away from people and places that stir up temptation or reminders.

The bottom line is that Jesus paid the ultimate price for our freedom. It is an insult to Him when we continue to live in bondage. He wants us free. (Galatians 5:1) Receive and walk in it.